Adventure

Basically, I've decided to give myself a month of taking chances I normally wouldn't, accepting offers I normally wouldn't and not being so damn hard on myself socially.

As my cousin said, "You could have your own Sweet November, minus the cancer."

Have I said recently how much I adore her? She is one of my inspirations to loosen up a bit while at the same time maintaining my integrity. Or some of it.

Sooo, recently I decided I needed to change my attitude. I've been moody and reclusive and leave-me-alone for too long. While that is a part of who I am, it's not the whole part. And I got lonely. I found myself realizing that I stay away from people because I feel responsible for their happiness.. that I might let them down... and so on.

A lot of catalysts were involved, I won't bore you with them. Long story short, I brought out my outgoing, flirty self that was covered in too much dust and quickly cleaned her off. And now, we're having a lot of fun. We feel sexy and delicious and appealing and any man or woman (I want some girlfriends) who doesn't look twice is, frankly, a spindly and unworthy toad who is missing out on a good thing.

This is a much nicer and more rewarding way to think than "Of course he wouldn't talk to me. I'm overweight and there' s a pimple on my chin." (Yeah, I was pathetic)

The response is amazing and the best thing is, if a person - male or female - doesn't respond to my bubbliness, it doesn't sting at all. I'm doing it all for me, not them! I don't know what it is.. I just feel uninhibited, unafraid to try things and I don't second guess or hesitate or analyze it, I just do it. (Today's blog entry brought to you by Nike)

Screw Nike. I am a New Balance girl.

The week's neatest example: After work the other day I went to work out at Curves. I left with a new girlfriend and an offer for her to introduce me to her friend Joe, who also wanted to meet new people and have fun. Emboldened by that, I mesmerized a man at CVS Pharmacy even though I was sweaty and wearing dorky workout clothes. Then, I went to the mall where I found a Natural Remedies store, and was helped by the most adorable young blonde girl and we talked the whole time, and found out her grandmother lives on my road. I need to go back and see if she wants to hang sometime.

It really is all about the attitude.

And the big blue eyes. And boobs. And ass.

It turns out that Joe is 23 (I'm almost 28). While normally I would cringe, now I am amused by the prospect of a younger man being enraptured by me. His emails are so enthusiastic and he tells me about his tattoos and his favorite music and beer. This is a refreshing change from "My job is my life. Stop trying to take up room in my life!"

So tonight, I have a blind date/group hangout with Kristy and her husband and Joe. Tomorrow I'm meeting the lovely Janine to see her new German Shepherd and go shopping and have dinner, then I'm going with my friend Chad to a Halloween party thrown by someone neither of us have ever met.

I don't find myself wanting to cancel ANY of it.

I'll keep ya posted.