Mama Was Right, Again
That's not a country song title, but it could be couldn't it? Maybe I'll write one to go with it...
Mama always wanted me to be so careful about choosing my playmates and friends, who I spent my time with and was influenced by. It used to aggravate me - the way she thought no one was good enough for me and how harshly she judged. I'm not saying she was right, but over the years I have come to understand why she was like that, and to realize the preciousness of choosing carefully those who are in my life to love and be loved by, and of allowing God to send them to me. Seeing my nieces go through heartaches with their own bad friendships teaches me, as well.
I know I have a big mouth and there are many times I open it too wide or too harshly, but at least I recognize it and always, always apologize for it (Sarah, that's another good manner thing I was taught). I try to choose my words carefully and never speak from anger although we all know its impossible to do that 100% of the time. In fact I was reading Romans in the Bible last night, which speaks of all kinds of instructions for us to try to follow; including speaking nicely and doing our best to live in peace with all. As a nonconfrontational person, I strive to do those things naturally because that is who I am, who I want to be - a kind person. Yet I have paid the price many a time - when I do speak about something I feel strongly about, not all who know me understand it as me just speaking my thoughts. Those I am closest to understand that often I am relating to something we've been discussing, or musing or telling a story. There are others who I guess do not know me so well, and think that I am attacking them or that everything I am talking about is directed towards them. And then I am made to feel like a horrid wicked harpy who has nothing better to do than sit around and bitch and moan. That isn't what I strive to be, but there are times when I will speak my mind because I am strong enough to do so. I never wish to speak out of animosity or hate because I do not like to carry those feelings around inside of me. It doesn't leave room for the good ones and the good ones feel much, much better. I'd rather throw out hugs than darts, regardless of popular belief.
I know there are probably many strangers who come across this and might think I carry a lot of chips on my shoulders or splinters in my heart. What I really try to carry is lessons learned and the hope and optimism of the beauty of humans and life and the strength and forgiveness of Christ that He taught. Do I always succeed? No. I wasn't meant to - I was meant to make mistakes so I could become stronger, and more aware of what is best for me.
So once again, Mama was right and I realize that more than ever I must think about what I give to others and what I receive in return, and continue to seek out those who give me that feeling of definite love and understanding so that that is what I put back out into the world. There are enough mean people. I don't strive to be one of them.
Besides, it's my damn blog and I'll write whatever I want to.
Mama always wanted me to be so careful about choosing my playmates and friends, who I spent my time with and was influenced by. It used to aggravate me - the way she thought no one was good enough for me and how harshly she judged. I'm not saying she was right, but over the years I have come to understand why she was like that, and to realize the preciousness of choosing carefully those who are in my life to love and be loved by, and of allowing God to send them to me. Seeing my nieces go through heartaches with their own bad friendships teaches me, as well.
I know I have a big mouth and there are many times I open it too wide or too harshly, but at least I recognize it and always, always apologize for it (Sarah, that's another good manner thing I was taught). I try to choose my words carefully and never speak from anger although we all know its impossible to do that 100% of the time. In fact I was reading Romans in the Bible last night, which speaks of all kinds of instructions for us to try to follow; including speaking nicely and doing our best to live in peace with all. As a nonconfrontational person, I strive to do those things naturally because that is who I am, who I want to be - a kind person. Yet I have paid the price many a time - when I do speak about something I feel strongly about, not all who know me understand it as me just speaking my thoughts. Those I am closest to understand that often I am relating to something we've been discussing, or musing or telling a story. There are others who I guess do not know me so well, and think that I am attacking them or that everything I am talking about is directed towards them. And then I am made to feel like a horrid wicked harpy who has nothing better to do than sit around and bitch and moan. That isn't what I strive to be, but there are times when I will speak my mind because I am strong enough to do so. I never wish to speak out of animosity or hate because I do not like to carry those feelings around inside of me. It doesn't leave room for the good ones and the good ones feel much, much better. I'd rather throw out hugs than darts, regardless of popular belief.
I know there are probably many strangers who come across this and might think I carry a lot of chips on my shoulders or splinters in my heart. What I really try to carry is lessons learned and the hope and optimism of the beauty of humans and life and the strength and forgiveness of Christ that He taught. Do I always succeed? No. I wasn't meant to - I was meant to make mistakes so I could become stronger, and more aware of what is best for me.
So once again, Mama was right and I realize that more than ever I must think about what I give to others and what I receive in return, and continue to seek out those who give me that feeling of definite love and understanding so that that is what I put back out into the world. There are enough mean people. I don't strive to be one of them.
Besides, it's my damn blog and I'll write whatever I want to.
posted by Natalie | 2:25 PM
1 Comments:
I was pretty sure you were talking about me in that last post, although I couldn't think of a time when I ogled women when we were at the beach together. Still, I can't really figure out who else you might've been talking about. Me, right?
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