The Final Look Back
I am hopelessly sad and lonely and therefore I am going to inflict that on the general public in the hopes it will make me feel better, because dammit, I feel like shit right now.
I just got back from the burial of a former mayor of ours. He was quite old, and sick - but he was adorable and we are all sad.
But what broke my heart was seeing his wife. She just looked so little, and alone. Bewildered. She kept nodding her head, being strong, you have to get thru these things. But I kept thinking about how she must be thinking about so much that happened in their 52 years together. How she would now have to sleep at night without him. Things like that. Then as the family filed by, she turned around, almost wildly, to look at that wooden box. She clutched his flag to her chest and gave a pleading look.. please don't make me leave you here...
And for the life of me, I don't know if I desperately want that or not. I'm going to say that I do. I do want that.
What about you? The person you are with... would you look helplessly at their casket or urn and wonder just how you could go on?
Think about it. And pray that I find my true love out there, the one made for me, the one who will love me for 52 years and then tell the preacher that he doesn't want to leave me behind, but he knows I am in God's hands and so he will.
Jesus fucking Christ.
I just got back from the burial of a former mayor of ours. He was quite old, and sick - but he was adorable and we are all sad.
But what broke my heart was seeing his wife. She just looked so little, and alone. Bewildered. She kept nodding her head, being strong, you have to get thru these things. But I kept thinking about how she must be thinking about so much that happened in their 52 years together. How she would now have to sleep at night without him. Things like that. Then as the family filed by, she turned around, almost wildly, to look at that wooden box. She clutched his flag to her chest and gave a pleading look.. please don't make me leave you here...
And for the life of me, I don't know if I desperately want that or not. I'm going to say that I do. I do want that.
What about you? The person you are with... would you look helplessly at their casket or urn and wonder just how you could go on?
Think about it. And pray that I find my true love out there, the one made for me, the one who will love me for 52 years and then tell the preacher that he doesn't want to leave me behind, but he knows I am in God's hands and so he will.
Jesus fucking Christ.
posted by Natalie | 4:13 PM
2 Comments:
Oh god. I don't know. Some days I would like to be without my old man. Not with anyone else, but without him. But I think I am ill-suited to cohabitation and love in general.
I have thought about that, if Derek and I get married and stay that way for 50 years, how lost I will feel if he goes first! It's scary.
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